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Monday, November 5, 2007

Lost

Most of the time I feel fairly confident. I like the way my life is going and how I'm living. But right now, I'm feeling completely lost. My school is going down the tube, at the helm of a madman that everyone else is powerless to stop. The teachers have tried, the students have tried. Nothing helps, and everyone is starting to suffer. I have a full scholarship, and I know I probably shouldn't complain...But seriously, folks, isn't the point of school to, I don't know, get an education? School is school, not a church. Our president wants the school to become urban focused, to help the city of Memphis. I'm all for helping the city of Memphis. I was born here, raised here. But the school is lowering educational standards, punishing the smart kids and calling them "snobs" and "selfish nerds", and bleeding everyone to death. I'm to the point where I'm looking at my options. I have to keep a fairly high GPA in order to keep that lovely full scholarship, but the school is requiring me to take courses outside of my major that weren't in the catalogue when I came in, and that I'm doomed to fail. It's educational suicide. I'm just so frustrated right now, partly because I still love my school. I love the teachers, the smallness, being able to walk down a hall and know almost everyone I meet. But I can't stay here at the risk of my education. Please pray for me. I don't know where my path leads....for that matter, I wish I could find the path. I seem to be lost in the forest at the moment.

3 comments:

Halcyon said...

"Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.
"Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear."
-Dante (Inferno, Canto 1, lines 1-6)

I pray a Virgil crosses your path to lead you through the bowels of hell and onto the shores of Heaven, so that you can once again see clearly "the Love which moves the sun and the other stars."(Paradiso, Canto 33, line 145)

firebirdsinger said...

Thank you, Jon. I think my friends and my wise mother are my Virgils right now...I appreciate your prayers.

oc said...

My friend, I am sorry you are feeling what you are feeling now concerning your school and it's direction. But I will tell you this, that while I do not dismiss your feelings about your educational institution in the least, the institution itself means little in the long run. I can tell you that with the utmost of confidence, my friend, just because of this:

Your Momma taught you HOW to think, not WHAT to think.
That is priceless and boundless education. Tuition paid in full, paid by one who loves you enough to sacrifice herself to teach the truth.
Reminds me of Someone Else both you and she loves. Think about that, dwell on that, and rejoice. Believe me, there really aren't that many who Walk that Way.

I know you know all of this, and that you do appreciate your Mom, but I just had to say it for some reason. Guess I'm doing what I do best, preaching to the choir, and reminding myself and encouraging myself that there are those whose hearts are right.
Anyway, just know that I care about you, but I'm not worried about you. Because you are in good hands. Between Mom and the Lord, how could it be any better?

Just sayin'.
oc.