Cornballs

So, last night I went to our local Corn Maize with some of my buddies from school. I had been looking forward to it all week. For those of you who don't have a Corn Maize, our local agricultural research place grows a huge field of corn every year. Then, they make a maze out of the field in some sort of shape-last year, for instance, it was King Tut. Then they set out a sign, and presumably rake in thousands of bucks just by selling tickets and setting loose a bunch of people into a corn field to get lost. Whoever thought this up was a genius. However, as the year draws closer to Halloween, the brilliant people who run the corn maize pay a bunch of bored teenagers a certain fee to go out into the cold and mud, crawl around in the corn and mud, and scare a bunch of people senseless, usually 14 year old girls. They do this with "scary" masks, air horns, and the time-honored "BOO!" In any case, a group of us world-weary college students met up at the corn field, got tickets, and then went and got pizza, in order that we might stuff ourselves while waiting for it to get dark. After all, it's no fun to get lost in a haunted cornfield unless it's dark. Then we went back, put on warm hoodies, and went into the darkness. Stephen was our scout and Pathfinder, walking out ahead of the group. We let him-after all, the person who walks out first gets killed first, right? Next came the brave Jonathan, picker up of all deserted flashlights and myself, the Girl Who Was Only Startled Three Times. We were the ones that kept our ears carefully attuned for the presence of little girls-it's the most fun to walk just behind them and laugh when they get scared by that guy in the weird clown mask. Behind us came the gentle Rachel and the wise Evan, Seer of all horror movie questions. Last came Dee and her boyfriend, Tony/Troy. Don't ask how he got two names. In any case, we tried to deliberately get lost, because it's no fun unless you're in there for at least an hour. Even with answering all of the questions deliberately wrong, we were still in and out of the maze in thirty minutes, which was slightly disappointing. The highlight of expedition was undoubtedly when we encountered the funky chicken-I'm his biggest fan. Any dude that can put on a chicken suit and go wallowing through the corn and do this weird chicken cackle is well deserving of praise. We were all deeply saddened, however, when we couldn't track down the guy hanging from the gallows. Hang it all. After we got done with the corn maize, everyone came back to my abode, where my mother had kindly made hot caffeinated beverages, popcorn, and chocolate chip cookies. We then proceeded to watch a highly intellectual film *cough cough Spaceballs cough cough* and call it an evening. That, my friends, is a good time.