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Monday, February 4, 2008

A Letter For Him

Dearest beloved,

I don't know where you are, when we'll meet, or even if we know each other. I don't know what age I'll be when I find you, what you look like, or even your name. Maybe I know you now, and we just haven't found each other yet. For whatever reason, tonight I felt like writing you a letter. Yes, I admit that this desire can be seen as slightly strange-writing a letter to "the unknown" love that waits in a blurry future isn't something that is done everyday, at least so far as I know in my limited experience in such matters. Yet, somehow, it feels so natural. I've always liked writing letters, and I can only hope that you'll appreciate this effort of mine one night to write down my feelings for you.

Because I'm lonely. Oh, yes, I won't deny it. I ache to find out who I was created for, because I do believe that God creates us all with the perfect person in mind. If we would only shut up and listen for His guidance, I think the world would be a far happier place than it is now. So I know without a doubt that while I was still in my mother's womb, comfortable in the embrace of my siblings, you were somewhere waiting. Perhaps you were still waiting to leave heaven, or perhaps you were already walking and talking. No matter where you were, God knew you and knew that we were destined to find one another.

I want you to know that I'll wait for you. I'll keep my body pure, and my heart whole until God brings you into my life. I don't mind waiting anymore, because I know that any pain that waiting causes me will be infinitely worth your love and respect. I can only hope that you've waited for me, and that you also trust in God's divine love and guidance.

I'm crying as I write this, dearest. I'm a deeply sensitive and loving person, who's had to learn to have a killing wit in order to survive the cruelties of this world. However, when you appear, know that the prickliness will disappear, and that I will be eagerly waiting to learn everything about you. I want to know you-your triumphs, your failures, your dreams, fears, everything that has shaped you into the person that you are. I love you so very much already-imagine the puddle I'll become when we finally know one another!

I've suddenly realized where I got this idea-from a movie my mother adores, called "The Love Letter." A woman, a poet actually, living during the civil war, one night wrote down her feelings for her beloved, a man that she had never met. She put the letter in the secret compartment of her desk, where it was found hundreds of years later by a man named Scotty. I won't go into the details of the story, but I find that I deeply resonate with this fictional heroine, partly because I live in stories most of the time. I can't put this letter in my desk because it would almost certainly get lost and thrown away someday, organization not being one of my strong points. However, I think I'll end this letter the same way Lizzie does in the movie-not because of any attempt to mirror the film, but because the words have always echoed deep within my soul.

Goodnight, my dearest. Dream of me.

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