Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Honorary Delegates, Please Come to Order

Most Honored Colleagues and Beloved Citizens and Friends,

In the first place, I’d like to thank you all for being here. Your presence both honors me and gives me joy. We have several items of business to take care of today, but your queen has decided to give you free air in compensation. I knew you’d all be pleased.

Privileged Delegates, our fair island of Pseudo-Rivendell has received a new offer of friendship and alliance from one of our kindred lands, that of Paradoxicon. It’s ruler and Ultimate Master has sent this missive, which I knew would interest you all:
Dear Queen, As the Supreme Architect of the Paradoxicon, I wish to make known, that diplomatic relations. There, that's right...I think. Anyway, I wish for technopilgrims on the way to electronic enlightenment to have free passage through thy glorious Dominion (no Star Trek reference intended). Please.DrewSupreme Architect of the Paradoxicon, Despoiler of Idiocy, Mocker of Mediocrity, Lover of All Things (Except those who don't feel the same way)

After much effort of mind, your queen was finally able to decipher this message. Architect Drew, your offer is graciously accepted on these terms: Firstly, that there be no political opinions expressed other than my own. After all, I AM Queen. Secondly….well, I can’t think of another term, so I acknowledge our land’s alliance, and I pledge our assistance to you whenever we feel the cause to be Right. Please take your seat alongside our most favored Lord Bobby.

Secondly, we ask for your most earnest prayers in regards to our most beloved sister, the Princess Shelby of the Shakespearean Realm. We have lately received a communiqué from the Princess’ physicians, and they relayed some troubling and slightly confusing news. Apparently, our lady Princess has some dilemma with her femurs. Parts of them, according to the scan, appear to be dead. Princess Shelby’s family all looked rather quizzically at her legs, which had seemed to be operating within normal parameters, and so this news was somewhat…odd. After some jokes about our Lady Princess being among the walking dead, her ladyship’s family decided to keep from being alarmed until further communication from her doctors. Still, the situation remains quite liquid, so any petitions offered to the Almighty on Princess Shelby’s behalf would be appreciated.

Hoping that you are all well, I remain,

The Queen


Drew said...

Most Eminent Queen and Matriarch,
I most graciously (and, uncharacteristically, humbly) accept thy most generous extension of the arm of amity toward the silicon lands of my dominion, and do hereby forswear the commitment of the forces of mine own mind toward thy defenses within a fortnight's time should thou require it. As the Supreme Architect of the Paradoxicon, I accept all the terms of the treaty offered, such that they do hereby become the law of land in my own realm. It is with great anticipation that I...anticipate the fruits of our alliance.

Most thankfully,
Architect of the Paradoxicon

P.S. Do relay my good wishes to our most fair sister, the Princess. Upon reading the news relayed by thy herald, I felt a great disturbance in the Force.

jesstheshepherd said...

wow...all you guys and your medieval language make my head spin sometimes. Also, Katie tell Shelby that I will be praying for her.


Anonymous said...

Lady Jess: Imagine living with them!!!

The Queen Mother

Bobby said...

Oh, come come now, Mother! These councils of ours are the worst we get, you know that!...unless we start playing "Whose Line."

jesstheshepherd said...


Drew said...

The Middle English jargon always reminds me of the "medieval times" scene from "The Cable Guy:"

Makes me laugh to the point of tears, every time.