I would love to know why God, in His unfathomable mercy and omniscience, couldn't make me live up to my name a little more than I do. I mean, I'd like to think that I'm pure grace in my behavior towards others, but why can't I be even slightly more graceful in physicality? I don't even have to be pure grace. I'm not greedy. I can live with tainted grace, or even substandard grace. Just a little help here would be nice, that's all I'm saying.
What brought on this rant? Why, I'm glad you asked!
This evening, my absolutely wonderful friend, Julianne, and I were able to get together. She graduated school last spring, so I don't get to see her much now that she's been kidnapped by the real world, aka, a job. It's truly amazing how that one syllable word can strike cold, sickening fear into the hearts of humanity. Makes one shudder by sheer reflex, doesn't it? In any case, whenever I can steal her away for a couple of hours for some girl time, it's much appreciated, especially now with exams staring me in the face. Boo, hiss!
We went to O'Charley's first, where we decided to fight against society's image of the perfect girl (cough cough Barbie cough cough) and devour our meals with the utmost Heart and Fortitude. We got a lot of talking done despite the shoveling of food that went on, and the conversation was lovely. It was very, very nice to be with another person rather than just being glued to my computer. While my computer is a marvelous companion, it just cannot fulfil all of my needs. But shhh! Don't tell the computer. I need it. I can't have it thinking I'm cheating on it or something. I'm personifying it again, aren't I? My apologies.
After that, we went to see that marvel of marvels, Twilight, again. This makes five times total for me so far ... some people survive for months on the amount of money I've cavalierly blown on movie tickets, but it's kept me sane, so I consider it a small price to pay. I rather like being sane, thanks. Julianne and I found some promising seats and sat down near the top, where we hopefully wouldn't be disturbed. The theater started the fill up, though it wasn't bad.
Until ... they came.
Yes. It was the dreaded Preteen Brigade. You know, the ones that are super loud, obnoxious, and utterly without parental supervision. Ugh.
Double ugh.
They settled themselves behind Julianne and I on Make Out Row. (Hey, I didn't know it was called that! Bobby told me. I'm woefully ignorant on this sort of thing.) They then proceeded to completely fulfill my high expectations of them by talking loudly and kicking the back of our seats. From their loud, uncouth mouths I learned that:
Robby is dating Sophia now. Dude, for real???
Tyler got his hair cut by some Chinese woman and now refuses to take off his hat.
So-and-so (didn't catch a name on this one. I know, I know, I'm ashamed of myself) snuck out of the house to come to this cheesy movie. Dude! Sweet!
And so on and so forth. I won't sully this high and intellectual blog with any more such drivel.
Julianne looked at me in a pained manner and I looked at her. Considering the fact that we'd just had a conversation on how much less patience we had with such things than we used to have, I knew what she was thinking. "Want to move?" I asked her.
"Yes," was her automatic reply. "But we're blocked in!" She was right. We were boxed in and getting out would be extremely awkward.
To which I was all, "Psh, the seats in front of us are empty. You step on the armrest, step down again, and Bob's your uncle." (I think I was showing my age with that one....)
Julianne was still looking hesitant, so I handed her my purse and proceeded to show her how it was done. Everything was going swimmingly until I got my foot stuck in-between the armrest and chair bottom on my final step. I managed not to fall and maintain my suave image (okay, I guess I'm not entirely graceless) and get down without looking like a total klutz. I also managed not to show that my foot hurt, really really really badly. Julianne sat down with me and everything was good. A nice looking lady down the aisle from us was looking at us with questions in her eyes for our monkey-esque behavior. I leaned over and whispered, "The Preteen Brigade up there..." and finished by gesturing vaguely.
She nodded knowingly and said, "Ah, that explains it. I've got one almost that age."
I looked at her in sympathy and said, "Good luck."
"Thanks!" she replied with a laugh. She was pretty cool ... all throughout the movie I would hear her husband whispering in either disdain or amazement, "Are you crying?" To which she would politely tell him to shut up. It made me laugh.
I'm sure you will share my devastation, though, when I tell you that the Preteen Brigade then did the unforgivable: THEY MOVED BACK DOWN TO THE ROW BEHIND US AGAIN!!! ARGH!!! They were like boomerangs, or Groundhog Day.
Anyway, once things got dark, I relieved the pain in my injured appendage by making atrocious faces. When the house lights finished going done, I nonchalantly leaned down and felt the top of my foot. I kid you not, there was a lump there! That takes talent. Too bad it's not a quantifiable talent. I can give you all the cheerful news that it's already turning black and blue. It's going to truly be a thing of beauty.
Before the movie really got started, though, Julianne got up to go to the little ladies room and I was left by myself. I could hear two of the Preteen Brigade talking quietly behind me, but it's kinda hard not to miss a conversation that's taking place right in your eardrums. "This seat is broken!" one complained.
"Yeah, said the other. I think it's why those girls moved. That and they were being b-----."
Oh, no he didn't. Yes, he did. And yes, I totally did. I turned around and said, "Um, guys? Point of interest? I have ears. Just fyi." There was silence for a moment while the mom down the row from me snickered. The two kids kept on whispering, though, obviously forgetting that vital, scientific fact that sound carries. They probably don't pay attention in school, poor things. I just rolled my eyes at them and went on about the serious business of Edward drooling. Hey, I'm single. I'm allowed to admire a Picasso when I see it! Although Picasso would have probably given him four ears and two mouths, which would have been utter blasphemy...
In any case, I am now left with several things as a result of this lovely evening. 1.) A foot that could pass for a kaleidoscope for its varying and mesmerizing colors, 2.) that evil little smug feeling that comes of putting a bunch of punks in their places and 3.) a lighter wallet, but a matching happier heart. It was a good evening.
Now, on to the latest mission: survive exams...
That might bruise me even worse, come to think of it.
